These are a few of my favorite things...

Gotta say, I'm a little bored right now. So how about another edition of things that make me laugh:

1. Donald Trump Jr. is ugly
Funniest. Title. Ever. (Have I abused my right to use spacing/periods to emphasize statements? No, not yet? Okay.) I haven't read the post, just the title. Okay, I just did...not as funny as the title

via the superficial

2. Breaking news! Clay Aiken was bullied
Yes, this is also from the superficial. But I can't help it that he/she had multiple funny things to say today (the coke bottle glasses comment- it's funny cause it's true!):

Just based on the fact that you do interviews with Dr. Phil and Cosmo Girl leads me to side with the bullies and assume that they were right to preemptively beat you. Although it’s hard to argue the street cred of references like “Coke-bottle glasses” (I’ll ignore the fact that Coke bottles haven’t been made of glass for about 130 years now)

via the superficial...again

3. John Candy not as dead as previously thought?
Again, it's the title that got me. But seriously, how is this possible? Oh, is it like in Forrest Gump, when he meets JFK or that other president (I'm totally kidding you guys- I remember it was Nixon. Gotcha!)? I tried to figure out the logistics of this, but I gave up very quickly.

via goldenfiddle

4. Michael Rapaport: Actor/Red Head/Concerned Citizen
The most hilarious part of this article is the following sentence:

"Reports kept coming in," said Rapaport, whose films include "Small Time Crooks" and "Hitch."

Is that really the best moment to list some of his credits? Maybe they could have done it like this:

"I felt sick to my stomach the moment she touched me," said Rapaport, whose films include "Beautiful Girls" and the upcoming "Live Free or Die"

Or here:

"It looked like a grenade had gone off," he said. "There was garbage everywhere. There were glasses smashed in the kitchen and standing water in the clogged tub with flies hovering over it. "That girl needs help," said Rapaport, whose films include "Dr. Dolittle 2" and the direct to video "Paper Soldiers"

I don't know why this is amusing me.

via totc

5. A monkey could do my job...literally
Arizona police dept looking to add a monkey to it's SWAT team.

Weighing only 3 to 9 pounds with tiny humanlike hands and puzzle-solving skills, Truelove said it could unlock doors, search buildings and find suicide victims on command. Dressed in a Kevlar vest, video camera and two-way radio, the small monkey would be able to get into places no officer or robot could go.

Not to sound completely insensitive (me, insensitive, never!) but what about a midget? They're small, they can unlock doors, and they look awesome in a Kevlar vest. Oh, I just re-read that these monkeys weigh 3-9 lbs...much smaller than a midget. Bring on the monkeys!

via the american mastadon

And now, for a random quote from "The Office" (the good version)

Garreth: That's one reason why gays shouldn't be allowed into the army. Because if we're in battle, is he going to be looking at the enemy, or is he going to be looking at me and going "Ooh. He looks tasty in his uniform". And I'm not homophobic, all right? Come round, look at my CDs. You'll see Queen, George Michael, Pet Shop Boys. They're all bummers.
R.